Chuck Norris Facts

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11-03-2008 | 05:51 AM

FatBoyTrucker

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Chuck Norris Facts

yes, i know this is old

but i always get a good laugh reading these things

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries.

Kids use superman pajamas. Superman uses chuck norris pajamas.

Every night the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris.

theres like a load more of these facts & almost all of em crack me up

11-03-2008 | 05:53 AM

xIxAMxHOLLYWOODx

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chucknorrisfacts.com

11-03-2008 | 05:54 AM

AGTC85

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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

11-03-2008 | 06:16 AM

captainlaziness

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Chuck Norris was the first pick to play Jack Bauer on the series 24. When executives learned that Chuck Norris could kill all of the terrorists and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds (with commercials for the Total Gym!) they went with their third pick, Kiefer Sutherland.

Chuck Norris' beard was the second choice. However, being The Destroyer of Worlds and The Eater of Souls left little time for a network television show.

11-03-2008 | 06:28 AM

Dam262a

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AGTC85

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

nice..

11-03-2008 | 06:47 AM

ChelsDS

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How did this whole phenomenon start anyways?

11-03-2008 | 06:50 AM

captainlaziness

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I think the whole Chuck Norris phenomenon is eternal, we have just recently become aware of it.

11-04-2008 | 12:20 AM

FatBoyTrucker

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hey i heaaaaarrdd.....they were gonna make some Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldnt take s*** from anybody

11-04-2008 | 12:23 AM

youngflyer

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how bout check norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from chuck norris!

11-04-2008 | 12:36 AM

#10

matt

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Quote:

Originally Posted by youngflyer

how bout check norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from chuck norris!

LOL! i almost spilled my drink all over my keyboard!

11-04-2008 | 01:36 AM

#11

preston2580

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chuck norris rules so.... chuck norris for president?

11-04-2008 | 06:16 PM

#12

smilezdc

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chuck norris and superman had a race around the world.. loser had to wear their underwear outside of their costume.

11-04-2008 | 08:35 PM

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PRODIGY3000

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsTUcuD7YA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66-o5_U-cwA

11-05-2008 | 09:09 AM

#14

pickledchang

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when the boogyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for chuck norris.

11-05-2008 | 10:45 AM

#15

Dam262a

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^^^somebody put that already...(first post)

11-05-2008 | 11:01 AM

#16

pickledchang

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sweet

11-07-2008 | 09:44 PM

#17

DREWxB08

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.