"What's the capital of Texas?"
"Austin"
"Wrong! It's Houston, Comi!"

Red Dawn....

 

"Houston......We have a problem" Apollo 13

 

"no Body Puts Baby in the corner" Patrick Swayze...Dirty Dancing

"How many of youa re a$$holes? (group chant SIR) I knew it i'm surrounded by A$$Holes!" Dark Helmet...Spaceballs (actually the entire movie is my favorite quote)

 

"Ya know, I didn't think I'd ever say this, but you two smoke ENTIRELY....too much refer" -- Chappelle Half Baked

Black Knight and King Arthur:

"Tis' but a scratch"

"A scratch?!? Your arm's off!!"

"No it isn't"

"Look!!"

"It's only a flesh wound...HAVE AT YOU!!"

-Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail

 

Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a poolman!! -- Jim Carey -- Ace Ventura Pet Detective

 

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're ___.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.
Monty Python And The Holy Grail

 

 

"You guys need to turn those frowns upsidedown. And I've got just the thing for that, we call 'em 'Doobie Snacks.'"
-Jay from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

 

" Dude that's my skull. I'm so wasted."
Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High

 

One of many from "The Outlaw Josey Wales" --

"Doin' right ain't got no end."

 

x2

 

"Nice set of hooters you got there" -Harry
"I beg your pardon?" -Mary
"The owls, they are beautiful"-Harry

"Wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world? EEEEEEEEAEAAAAAAAAAHH!"
-Lloyd Christmas Dumb and Dumber

 

"Chicks are for ___S!" Lloyd...Dumb and Dumberer. (not misspelled)

 

"but my lips hurt real bad"

 

"I take it black.... like my men" - Airplane
"Ever seen a grown man naked?"- Airplane
"Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel" -Anchorman
"She's kinda freaking *PG13* cute, let her touch your *****" Harold and Kumar

 

"You Quadraped Sprechen De English" -Penguins...Madagascar
"Cute and Cuddly Private, Cute and Cuddly"

 

From The Naked Gun <---My Dad was in the movie...but I'm unbias

Ed: What I'm trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense...

Frank: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girl dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

 

My fave quotes mainly come from Full Metal Jacket. Most of them are a lil "offensive" for this place though.

SGT Hartman: Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?

SGT Hartman: Hell, I like you, you can come over to my house and f my sister.

SGT Hartman: Oh that's right, Private Pyle, don't make any f'ng effort to get to the top of the f'ing obstacle. If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your a** up there by now, wouldn't he?

Did your parents have any children that lived?
Sir, yes, sir.
I'll bet they regret that. You're so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece.

 

"I'll teach you whatever you want, just don't eat me!!"
-Chris Rock, The Longest Yard

 

Arthur approaches an isolated castle guarded by soldiers ( #1 & #2 ) .....

S #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
A : We found them.
S #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
A : What do you mean?
S #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
A : The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
S #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
A : Not at all. They could be carried.
S #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
A: It could grip it by the husk!
S #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
A: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
S #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
A: Please!
S #1: Am I right?
A: I'm not interested!
S #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
S #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
S #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
A: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
S #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
S #2: Oh, yeah...
S #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...