Funny Craigslist Posts
02-19-2008, 08:13 PM
#21
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: ...Lost Somewhere in Time
Posts: 1,099
...$10 says whatever poor roommate actually accepts this offer finds themselves drugged or knocked unconscious only to awaken and find they are strapped to a chair (most likely one he has recently re-upholstered in an effort to hide the bloodstains from the last roommate), being cut on in some sort of grotesque excuse for a "plastic surgery" experiment... ...one using those "dubious, Eastern-influenced methods" to which he made a direct reference. Either that, or they wake in the middle of the night to find this psychopath standing over his/her bed, panting heavily, with a tube of KY in one hand and a 3-foot salami in the other!
This is the kind of nut-job that makes most everyone remember to lock their doors at night!
This is the kind of nut-job that makes most everyone remember to lock their doors at night!
02-20-2008, 04:47 PM
#23
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Lake Oswego, OR
Posts: 1,301
I doubt he did much real schooling to become captain scary plastic surgery, (reali's'ed is spelled wrong), you should never work out after you eat (like the 45 minute swimming rule) and if he understood vitamins and minerals he would realize that red meat needs to stay somewhat pink at least to retain it's properties.
Dude sounds like he has lived alone far too long and become WAY to set in his ways-I would bet his dates end up being lifeless too-either due to fear or boredom (well until he kills them at home later and cuts their skin into new leather for his upholstery work....
Dude sounds like he has lived alone far too long and become WAY to set in his ways-I would bet his dates end up being lifeless too-either due to fear or boredom (well until he kills them at home later and cuts their skin into new leather for his upholstery work....
02-29-2008, 05:26 AM
#26
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 5,605
This was a local one...
This car is awesome. I'm pretty sure it shouldn't be running, but it does*.
Only 1**,*** miles
Small oil leak. (About a quart a week)
Salvaged only a couple of times.
It looks like the front bumper was painted by a paint brush, but it's not really noticeable from >45 ft.
Small dent on rear left side. Kind of broken tail light.
Small dent on rear right side. Tail light is fine though.
Front left blinker sometimes falls out.
Something hangs down from the front bumper, I'll try to cut it off soon.
Makes a weird noise when making right turns really fast and (I think the same cause) maks little gashes on the rear left tire. I'm frankly surprised it hasn't popped yet.
3rd gear grinds.
5th gear pops out.
Sometimes makes a really loud strange noise when starting up, but turning it off real quick and going "What the **** was that?!" usually fixes the problem.
Was previously owned by a ___ dude.
There was this strange box underneath the seat that I took out. I hope it wasn't important.
Back trunk is a _____ to pop open.
I took out the tire and jack from the front trunk and haven't been able to put it back in the right way, so good luck with that
For a while the throttle would get stuck at like 4,000 RPM, but when I crashed into a pedestrian sign it somehow fixed it.
But other than that, this car is sweet. You'll totally pick up the chicks and be able to beat any car in a street race.**
I'm asking $750 and my price is firm. No low ballers or scammers. Seriously. I'll try to get some pictures up some day. Like today! http://s150.photobucket.com/albums/s119/StealthZero/
*Small Disclaimer:
If it so happens that this car is run on my will power alone and you don't have enough will power to run it, I will not be held responsible.
**Smaller Disclaimer:
Not that I condone street racing or anything, I'm just saying that hypothetically, this car is definitely the fastest car you'll ever drive, ever.
EDIT: It now has a dead battery and 2 flats. New price...500 bucks. (Will take interesting trades)
Keywords:sex, mr2, blackpeople, turbo, civicsaregay, ilikemen, stupidtesticleman, cheese, wattabaggabingbong, "the quantum theory of relativity" turbo, civic, Kim Jong Il, myspace, craigslist, sex, sexwithmr2s, hitlersweiner, 1909 1245 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1, mkI, mkII, mkVII, Mark the Third.
Also, I'm lonely. Please E-mail if you want an MR2 or not.
Only 1**,*** miles
Small oil leak. (About a quart a week)
Salvaged only a couple of times.
It looks like the front bumper was painted by a paint brush, but it's not really noticeable from >45 ft.
Small dent on rear left side. Kind of broken tail light.
Small dent on rear right side. Tail light is fine though.
Front left blinker sometimes falls out.
Something hangs down from the front bumper, I'll try to cut it off soon.
Makes a weird noise when making right turns really fast and (I think the same cause) maks little gashes on the rear left tire. I'm frankly surprised it hasn't popped yet.
3rd gear grinds.
5th gear pops out.
Sometimes makes a really loud strange noise when starting up, but turning it off real quick and going "What the **** was that?!" usually fixes the problem.
Was previously owned by a ___ dude.
There was this strange box underneath the seat that I took out. I hope it wasn't important.
Back trunk is a _____ to pop open.
I took out the tire and jack from the front trunk and haven't been able to put it back in the right way, so good luck with that
For a while the throttle would get stuck at like 4,000 RPM, but when I crashed into a pedestrian sign it somehow fixed it.
But other than that, this car is sweet. You'll totally pick up the chicks and be able to beat any car in a street race.**
I'm asking $750 and my price is firm. No low ballers or scammers. Seriously. I'll try to get some pictures up some day. Like today! http://s150.photobucket.com/albums/s119/StealthZero/
*Small Disclaimer:
If it so happens that this car is run on my will power alone and you don't have enough will power to run it, I will not be held responsible.
**Smaller Disclaimer:
Not that I condone street racing or anything, I'm just saying that hypothetically, this car is definitely the fastest car you'll ever drive, ever.
EDIT: It now has a dead battery and 2 flats. New price...500 bucks. (Will take interesting trades)
Keywords:sex, mr2, blackpeople, turbo, civicsaregay, ilikemen, stupidtesticleman, cheese, wattabaggabingbong, "the quantum theory of relativity" turbo, civic, Kim Jong Il, myspace, craigslist, sex, sexwithmr2s, hitlersweiner, 1909 1245 1986 1987 1988 1989 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1, mkI, mkII, mkVII, Mark the Third.
Also, I'm lonely. Please E-mail if you want an MR2 or not.
04-27-2008, 08:12 PM
#27
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Straits
Posts: 3,012
Free chair - smells like ___ (Seattle)
Reply to: sale-658415794@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-27, 1:01PM PDT
Free desk chair to some lucky Seattlite. The smell stems from my ex room-mate who I found naked one day sitting at my desk. Thanks dude, that really was nice to come home to after a long day of work. Stains included at no extra charge.
Also soon to be available, one PC keyboard, but the space bar and control key are stuck.
Reply to: sale-658415794@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-27, 1:01PM PDT
Free desk chair to some lucky Seattlite. The smell stems from my ex room-mate who I found naked one day sitting at my desk. Thanks dude, that really was nice to come home to after a long day of work. Stains included at no extra charge.
Also soon to be available, one PC keyboard, but the space bar and control key are stuck.
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