tC4italy

My ex bf was so insecure he accused me of cheating on him. He'd say that he would wake up in the middle of the night and not find me in his bed. He'd say I'd listen to loud music in his room cos I was covering 'noises' with some other guy.

THAT is crazy insecurities. Not stupid pics of girls.

And I suffered because of it. Mentally physically emotionally. I didn't get a sticker covering a piece of paper.

And to the boy who said "take her to mexico and beat her up" you should be put into jail and be gang raped if u were serious, if you were "joking around" you need to seek professional help

scionofPCFL

Self improvement is one thing. Impossed sanctions for the betterment of the relationship are quite another.

Jan06xB

I wonder what Dr. Phil would say if he read this thread . . .

tC4italy

My previous post was referring to my second bf.
the last post was about my first bf.

DragonR

uhh... @$$... all i said was if she is hot... i didnt say anything about being anorexic, having any other disorders. ALL i said was IF she is hot and STILL insecure, then good luck. you see how i didnt imply anything else... you see how you read into something that wasnt there?.



Back to the topic...

Skeorx13

I think that's pretty messed up, man. She needs to calm the hell down. You aren't shoving your tongue down their throats. I think pretty much every girl I've ever been with was more interested in my maxim, fhm, and stuff, than I was. I'd go through them with the girls and we'd point out what we each thought was hot (some of my girls were bi, so that was easy). Some of the ads in there are of guys too, so they'd point out what they thought was hot or what they thought would look good on me, etc. This is the healthy way to go about it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking to look at attractive things. If you were in the wrong for it, you wouldn't have liked looking at her, and probably wouldn't have been attracted to her to begin with. And any relationship that is based on compromise is not a relationship that will last. Trust me, her insecurities, if left unchecked, will pollute the rest of the relationship until it is no longer viable. I say point out certain women that are hot in it and say stuff like, "Oh, this chick reminds me of you, so hot, etc." This aversion to your mags and calendars is also possibly a displacement of some guilt she feels herself. Maybe she's got a hidden stash of paper goodies herself and doesn't want you to know about it. (just like cheaters are often accusatory of their significant others' possible infidelity)

DragonR

what you say is true, unfortunately not every woman is receptive to sitting down and skimming the mags...

v1_Rotate

My ex wife (and I emphasise EX) cut out all the revealing pictures in a Maxim magazine I brought home one day.

Bottom line... ex wife.

scionofPCFL

Insecurity is an ugly thing and leaves a foul stench.

Jealousy, on the other hand, is quite hot.

Jealous insecurity is dangerous and needs to be kept in check.....unfortunately it rarely is and usually leads to lives being destroyed.

S1lent

He would say...
A)Stick it in her pooper.
B)Do a barrel roll.
C)PROFIT!

hotbox05

wow

tC4italy

eh u'd think ppl wouldn't be stupid twice in a row eh

scionofPCFL

you new here or something?

tC4italy

lol sure

scionofPCFL

Me too

Shogun

The thing is, you would know that insecurity in one part of life would lead to insecurity about other things. It would almost follow that if she is insecure about women in magazines then she very well could be insecure in her own body image. You do not give advice to someone whose gf could have body-dismorphic disorder or have anorexia/bulimia.

The fact is, this IS on topic. This little "peeve" of hers could be signaling that she has a bad view of her own body that the OP did not pick up on or has not seen yet. And if she is "hot", which I assume the OP finds her attractive, no matter how many times he tells her she is hot, sexy, beautiful, etc, she will NOT believe it if she has a disorder.


Of course, this can only be found out after sitting down and talking this out. Giving advice without the complete facts is akin to playing Russian roulette, with 3 bullets. Talking is the least confrontational and will give the OP a starting point to discuss with his gf and us if he chooses.

And man, pick up a GQ and a Men's Health. Quality magazines.

Jan06xB

May I suggest a V Secret catalog and say you are shopping for presents for HER! My ex gf a few back would like me to get warmed up by looking at them.

Also keep in mind that this is a public forum and what you say is accessable to anyone and they can find out where you live . . . ohhhhhoooo.

draxcaliber

i'm just caught up in the irony that she says she fell in love with me because of the way i don't change the way i act for anybody, and yet now that she is with me, she wants to change me. i suppose it is in every womans blood to find a guy to fix up. the only thing i have tried to change about her is that she needs to grow up and learn to handle problems. crying in her pillow, not talking about and ignoring it until it gets worse is not an option. and this isn't something like i'm changing her for my sake, but because she was really sheltered by her parents and she didn't know how to do a thing for herself, or even really take care of herself. i had to force her to go get a tetnes shot when she got cut on a rusty gate, or when she isn't feeling well, i'm the one who drags her to the doctor to get checked out which was a good thing because now we know she is hyperglycemic and was suffering from mild dehydration. i'm still having trouble getting her to get her wisdom teeth taken care of before it is an even worse problem. i also want her to grow up because i am her bf not her daddy. i want to treat her like an adult, like a partner, like an equal, not a child. she is 19 and i'm 21 and honestly it sometimes frustrates me that i have to be the mature level-headed all the time.

anyway, in response to how my dad controls everything my mom does, it puts me in the mindset that i am not going to be controlling over my gf. she is an independent human being like me and should have complete freedom of choice over her life aside from those few medical concerns i forced on her mentioned above. i simpley want the same treatment. i mean, if in start to compromise, where will it end? my magazines, then video games because of the hot girls in need for speed, and my anime because of the likes of faye valentine, or maya and simone from initial d? then i won't be allowed to go to car shows because of the certainty that there will be import models posing with the cars. i mean, honestly, i will always be true to her, but i am not getting put on a leash.

tC4italy

Again, you have to see why is it that u care about these things so much. She's jelous. You MUST have seen some hints of it at the beginning of the relationship. Next time when u start dating a girl ask her what she would expect out of her bf. If you don't like her expectations, move on. Don't go in it and then complain.

Skeorx13

I know how that goes. I had that problem with my last ex. They like to pull the whole, "I'm not like other girls, I understand, I'd never do that to you... blah blah blah." Then they push you into a corner and pull the whole "Either I get my way or I'm leaving" crap. They love the badboy in the early relationship and the _____whipped loser in the mid to latter. Most girls are rather retarded in the head when it comes to relationships. Trying to figure them out will only give you a headache. Don't ever change or compromise for something that is irrational or illogical or not in your true nature. A good woman won't ever try to change you unless it is detrimenting your health or wellbeing. (in your case it is neither) Better to be free and lonely on the outside than caged and miserably chained to someone on the inside.