tC4italy

uhhh I was gonna say something really mean
I feel nice today do I will spare you the joke

scionofPCFL

At some point, it's not about what you like or don't like, it becomes an issue of giving up control over oneself. For a 21 y.o. male to be told what to do, it's kind of a bummer. He just moved out of his house a few years ago, now he's "free", but then comes this roadblock of a g/f on the path to freedom. If it were me, it would be about winning or losing a bit of myself, or to put it another way, it would be about taking that next step to relinquish control over my own *********.

At 21, that is way young to be handing over control of the jewels just yet.

tC4italy

True. Then he should leave her if it bothers him so much. No one is forcing you to be with her. You love her, you accept her. you don't want to accept her, leave her.

Let's not make this a female claw digging into male's nuts please. Because I went through far worst and I pulled my guts together and dumped HIM.

scionofPCFL

couldn't agree more.
It is what's happening, but nobody is trying to say that there aren't far worse things that can happen in relationships. But that doesn't mean he should accept it if he doesn't want to. I'd personally rather be single than deal with a bad relationship, but there are many people out there that aren't comfortable being alone. Those are the folks I avoid when dating.

Good for you for having the strength to pull out of that horrible relationship, many women and men can find it in them to do that.

XxTamTxX

yup, nothing worse than 'unhappily ever after'.

tC4italy

Unfortunatly ppl are blind when in a relationship. No matter what the people close to you tell you and beg you to leave yr other bad half you just don't listen. There just has to be a wake up call. Unfortunatly, those may come too late or never at all.

locondcoco

wow, i can't believe i just read all 5 pages of this...haha.

but i must agree with the dangers of insecurity. it creeps into every aspect of the relationship, whether is jealousy or fear or whatever....

and in my opinion, this should not be so much about "relinqishing control", but more respecting what she wants. it all depends on how mature the relationship is. do you respect her enough to give up those things (as stated earlier, there are other sources of the info you're getting from those mags, without the half naked girls)?

but of course this has to work both ways, she should show you the same respect if theres something she's doing to bother you. men and women are wired differently, things will bother her that you think is ridiculous, and vice versa.

but she's not trying to rule your life, its something that bothers her. its not too farfetched. some girls want to know that they're the one and only.

tC4italy

EXACTLY. It's about respect, respecting her, respecting her needs, respecting her views.

She doesn't like what you do not because she is a control freak but because it OFFENDS her as a person.

tCTaco

iTrader: (1)

RUUUUUN!!!!

For the love of all things good, Run man!

You need to lay down the Law....."Man Law"

tC4italy

quit being a jerk bacon

tCTaco

iTrader: (1)

Ok...Sorry about being a Jerk C..........But yer right...respect her and all that, but Its a two way street.

If you are checking out girls all the time in front of her, then yeah your probably a jerk and a pig.

But if she just gets mad and likes to pick a fight, then you need to revaluate the situation, what made her angry,

I used to date a girl that just like to pick fights for no reason, then when I said thats it! Im outa here....she would say, no I dont want you to leave or break up......After ten years we finnaly split up cause I woulnt change.........



A Guy stays with a girl hoping she wont change.
A Girl stays with guy that they can change!

tC4italy

Agreed

tC4italy

Agreed
well...for the most part anyway

Skeorx13

That seems like a load of crap to me. Show respect and you get respect. Respect doesn't mean catering to her every whim and insecurity. SHE isn't respecting HIM by doing such things and acting in such a way. Someone already mentioned that it's a two way road. He could maybe not post the calendars in a communal space that they share, but to not even have the mags and calendars at all is B.S. If he spends more time on the imaginary paper women than his real woman, then yes, she can get annoyed. But this doesn't seem to be the case. His girl is overreacting and making an ___ of herself. She needs to get her head on straight and relax.

My parents, for example, seem to have an agreement (although never stated in front of the kids, cuz that's creepy...) in regards to pornography. My father likes ****, my mother hates it. She doesn't seem to care about him having it as long as it isn't in plain sight and doesn't look at it when she is around. That shows mutual respect for one another.

etli

Bail dude. Your girl wants you to fight evolutionary urges. (this is just the "soft-****" magazines right? Did she want you to give up your **** stash altogether? How upset does she get when you look at other girls?)

Change comes from within. No one changes someone else with emotional blackmail.
"Change or I'm leaving" doesn't really work for anyone.

Very few people find a person who's a perfect fit for them. It's probably impossible. And thus; God invented compromise. But compromise is a 2 way street. You can't be the only one who's doing all the changing.

Is there an exchange for you giving up the magazines? If there's supposed to be compromise in the relationship, is she going to give up something that "bothers" you?


bear in mind, when people are asked to describe their ideal partner, they usually end up describing a "psychic slave". Someone who attends to them first, who takes them into consideration at all times, who takes care of their needs and wants without being asked, who can read their moods and respond accordingly. While people will say they like a little disagreement in their relationship to spice up their lives, I think they're assuming that they're always right and the other person is wrong and it's just a matter of convincing them.

tC4italy

None of us know the whole story. Maybe he doesn't like something SHE does and she doesn't do it to respect HIM and it's not a load of crap it makes her feel unwanted if he has to look at magazines to get excited

Yr not a girl YOU don't know how she feels or her reasonings behind it

Skeorx13

You aren't her either, so you don't know her reasonings either. I highly doubt he needs them to get excited. (I am a guy, so yes I do know this.) Unless he's ignoring her because of them, there is no reason for her behavior.

tC4italy

"Unless he's ignoring her because of them"

that's what I meant not as in to get hard.

And I've went through this so yes I do know.

Dwatts5250

Ive been with mine for 5 years...and she still pulls the same crap. Its like "Hun I come home to you every night...I just got an autograph NOTHING HAPPENED!!" But that dont matter..if she gets jealous.. we're doing good. If she gets ____ed we've got 2 couches. If she doesnt get worried...then somethings up.

tC4italy

^^