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Old 12-14-2006, 08:50 PM
  #101  
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I don't understand why the vast majority of the populace thinks paranoia and jealousy is healthy. I see no good thing coming from it. If you truly love someone you should trust them implicitly. If you don't, then there is something wrong that needs to be addressed on one side or the other. Maybe I'm just crazy, but I can't ever be with anyone that I fight constantly with, don't trust, or doesn't accept me. And I've heard people say that you most likely will never find someone 100% compatible with you, but why would you settle for less? Why lower your standards to a sub-par eternal bond?
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Old 12-14-2006, 09:00 PM
  #102  
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^^ that I'm with you 100%
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Old 12-15-2006, 05:21 PM
  #103  
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Originally Posted by etli
...compromise is a 2 way street. You can't be the only one who's doing all the changing.

Is there an exchange for you giving up the magazines? If there's supposed to be compromise in the relationship, is she going to give up something that "bothers" you?
i agree that its a 2 way street. but i also believe that love should be UNCONDITIONAL, he should change out of respect and love for her (and of course if the request is within reason, which i feel this is), not because she agreed to stop doing something that bothers him also.
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Old 12-15-2006, 05:24 PM
  #104  
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Originally Posted by locondcoco
Originally Posted by etli
...compromise is a 2 way street. You can't be the only one who's doing all the changing.

Is there an exchange for you giving up the magazines? If there's supposed to be compromise in the relationship, is she going to give up something that "bothers" you?
i agree that its a 2 way street. but i also believe that love should be UNCONDITIONAL, he should change out of respect and love for her (and of course if the request is within reason, which i feel this is), not because she agreed to stop doing something that bothers him also.
^^ you got it!
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Old 12-15-2006, 05:48 PM
  #105  
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Actually, it was my understanding that "unconditional" meant that he would still love her even though she retardedly reacts to his magazine and calendar collection.
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Old 12-15-2006, 05:55 PM
  #106  
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Originally Posted by locondcoco
Originally Posted by etli
...compromise is a 2 way street. You can't be the only one who's doing all the changing.

Is there an exchange for you giving up the magazines? If there's supposed to be compromise in the relationship, is she going to give up something that "bothers" you?
i agree that its a 2 way street. but i also believe that love should be UNCONDITIONAL, he should change out of respect and love for her (and of course if the request is within reason, which i feel this is), not because she agreed to stop doing something that bothers him also.
If I may state it another way; "if you loved me, you'd change for me"? So a man must be willing to change in order to prove his love? YEAHHHHHHHH........... If love is truly unconditional, then it's unconditional both ways. Both parties need to be equally selfless. The women should not require that the man change in order to love him (or to get access to her nookie - mmmmm, nookie, AUURRRGGGHHHH).

OK, now define which requests for change are "within reason".

I don't have a real clear picture of what the girl is asking of the guy in question;
1. Don't look at other women period - in print, on TV, on the street?- because she feels inadequate
2. Don't look at other women when she's around - hide your behavior / be more discrete
3. Don't look at other women when she's around in a way that she's "uncomfortable" with. (definition of "uncomfortable" subject to random and extreme fluctuations)
4. Don't look at other women when you're spanking the monkey - the man has his girl and he shouldn't need to *******? Yeah sure, but sometimes, she has a headache, or she's not around, or sometimes, it's just too much work to get her in the mood.

Again, change only comes from within. People do NOT make good "Fixer-Upper" projects.
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Old 12-15-2006, 05:59 PM
  #107  
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haha.. "retardedly" he writes.. like that word. yeah, accept them the way they are or leave.... people don't change, even if she stop saying it verbally she would still feel ____ed off every time she sees it.
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Old 12-15-2006, 06:00 PM
  #108  
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I give up on this thread
way too much stereotyping in here
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Old 12-15-2006, 06:12 PM
  #109  
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Originally Posted by etli
If I may state it another way; "if you loved me, you'd change for me"? So a man must be willing to change in order to prove his love? YEAHHHHHHHH........... If love is truly unconditional, then it's unconditional both ways. Both parties need to be equally selfless. The women should not require that the man change in order to love him (or to get access to her nookie - mmmmm, nookie, AUURRRGGGHHHH).
Did i not say i agree its a 2 way street? unconditional both ways, of course.

Originally Posted by etli
OK, now define which requests for change are "within reason".
"within reason" is for them to define, theres no cookie cutter definition of where "reason" is. whats reasonable for one couple is not going to be the case with another, as we can see CLEARY from this thread.
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:38 PM
  #110  
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So, women are designed to confuse the hell out of men.
Men are determined to figure out women.
Women like to make and change rules. (And so do us men)
Bottom line.....women are evil.
But that's why we love them

And I cant beleive this thread is gotten this freakin wierd..I cant beleive Im even putting in another post to this topic.... Im bored.
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:48 PM
  #111  
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^^^i think you can start another thread that will never die out with the post above
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:51 PM
  #112  
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So true...so very true.
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Old 12-15-2006, 09:06 PM
  #113  
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When bored - go for a ride. Life is all about change and adapting to it. Each must give up something if one is to give up anything. It is not that important unless you make it so. Tell each other what you need so that it is clear to each of you. If you can not live with each other then you must part or suffer with each other and be unhappy. Relationships are like cars - you must work for them to keep them. A good woman is hard to find - I know I have looked a long time. Believe me when I say this - living alone is not much fun and I mean living without anyone that is close to you.
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Old 12-15-2006, 09:36 PM
  #114  
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6 pages of the same thing-
1. stay with her
2. leave her

it all comes down to you, if you love her enough to work things out like ADULTS. learn to compromise and listen to each other. if she doesn't want to compromise give her examples of the things that she does that bothers you- it might not be about her oogling depp and bloom, but the annoying things that she does that you probably have kept to yourself about. this thing will only get worse down the road if you don't tell her to stop trippin, and get with the program... seriously though, just talk to her in an adult manner about how she is making you feel.

we are all human- we ALL get jealous but there can be certain limits to it; a person can't be so selfish that their jealousy pushes the closest person by their side away.

GOOD LUCK!
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Old 12-15-2006, 11:30 PM
  #115  
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"I am a little bit unsecure
A little unconfident
Cuz you don't understand
I do what I can
Sometimes it don't make sense

I am what you never want to say
but I've never had a doubt
it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
for once just hear me out"
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Old 12-15-2006, 11:30 PM
  #116  
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tam tam tam linkin park
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Old 12-16-2006, 02:13 AM
  #117  
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wow, i can't believe this is the longest thread i've ever started...doesn't anybody care about my turbo build up? or those supercharger upgrade kits i found from forcefed racing? this post was never about whether or not i should leave my gf, we do live together and all. it was just me _____ing alittle to get some insight about her jealousy and whether or not i'm being unreasonable. i'm staying with her, atleast she doesn't complain when i talk about my turbocharger, video games, or anime.
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Old 12-16-2006, 03:20 AM
  #118  
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Originally Posted by draxcaliber
...to get some insight about her jealousy and whether or not i'm being unreasonable.
well i think its safe to say you got a whole LOT of insight....i think....
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Old 12-16-2006, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by draxcaliber
wow, i can't believe this is the longest thread i've ever started...doesn't anybody care about my turbo build up? or those supercharger upgrade kits i found from forcefed racing? this post was never about whether or not i should leave my gf, we do live together and all. it was just me _____ing alittle to get some insight about her jealousy and whether or not i'm being unreasonable. i'm staying with her, atleast she doesn't complain when i talk about my turbocharger, video games, or anime.
yeah i think you should stop complaining
good luck on the turbo
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Old 12-19-2006, 05:30 AM
  #120  
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there is a little show called Sex and the City.. maybe some of you have heard of it.. i think you all might like it haha.. i read just the last few pages here.. interesting ideas but honestly.. nobody is perfect and having to deal with the issues of our 'others' is a never ending thing.

but.. its nice to talk about it huh
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