the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
11-18-2006, 01:35 PM
#421
im not reading 21 pages of jokes but this got me banned from telling jokes at the dinner table :D :
Three guys are wandering in the desert. They are dehydrating and starving. Suddenly they see a mansion in the middle of the desert. They walk up to it and decide on Joe to knock on the door. So the Joe knocks and an old woman answers. "Yes?" she said. "Hello, my friends and I have been wandering around for hours and are really thirsty. Do you think we could have a gallon or two of water?" said Joe. "Well, ok, but you have to do something for me first. If you do it, I'll give you your water and a car with a map", said the woman. "Umm, ok", said Joe. So they go in and the woman says, "Seeing as to how I live alone here, I haven't had sex in almost three decades. I want you to do it with me." Joe disguisted in his mind, but not wanting to die of thirst says ok. He looks around and gets an idea. He lays her on a coffee table and tells her to close her eyes. He then grabs a corn shuck that was in a decorative bowl and does the woman with that. She moans and all and when Joe finishes, he pulls out the corn and all this gooey yellow stuff is on it. Disguisted, Joe throws the corn out the window before the woman notices. The woman, satisfied tells Joe, "If you will do me one more time, I will give you and your friends a million dollars each." So Joe wanting the money, does her again with a second corn schuck. Again he pulls the corn out and it has even more yellow goo. Before the throws up, Joe tosses it out the window again. So the woman gets up and gives Joe the items she promised. He leaves and quickly goes to find his friends. He says, "Guys, you wont believe what happened!" One of his friends says, "We don't care, we just had the best corn shucks ever!"
Three guys are wandering in the desert. They are dehydrating and starving. Suddenly they see a mansion in the middle of the desert. They walk up to it and decide on Joe to knock on the door. So the Joe knocks and an old woman answers. "Yes?" she said. "Hello, my friends and I have been wandering around for hours and are really thirsty. Do you think we could have a gallon or two of water?" said Joe. "Well, ok, but you have to do something for me first. If you do it, I'll give you your water and a car with a map", said the woman. "Umm, ok", said Joe. So they go in and the woman says, "Seeing as to how I live alone here, I haven't had sex in almost three decades. I want you to do it with me." Joe disguisted in his mind, but not wanting to die of thirst says ok. He looks around and gets an idea. He lays her on a coffee table and tells her to close her eyes. He then grabs a corn shuck that was in a decorative bowl and does the woman with that. She moans and all and when Joe finishes, he pulls out the corn and all this gooey yellow stuff is on it. Disguisted, Joe throws the corn out the window before the woman notices. The woman, satisfied tells Joe, "If you will do me one more time, I will give you and your friends a million dollars each." So Joe wanting the money, does her again with a second corn schuck. Again he pulls the corn out and it has even more yellow goo. Before the throws up, Joe tosses it out the window again. So the woman gets up and gives Joe the items she promised. He leaves and quickly goes to find his friends. He says, "Guys, you wont believe what happened!" One of his friends says, "We don't care, we just had the best corn shucks ever!"
11-24-2006, 03:48 AM
#439
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Guam, 14.8N, 145.6E
Posts: 960
Jokes from Yo Mamma 
Yo momma is so cheap, she bought you an XBOX 180.
Yo momma is so fat, when she wears yellow, the kids run after her saying "aw man I missed the bus!"
Yo momma is so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma is so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
Yo momma is so stupid, when she went to a football game, she asked the quarterback for a refund.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
Yo momma is so cheap, she bought you an XBOX 180.
Yo momma is so fat, when she wears yellow, the kids run after her saying "aw man I missed the bus!"
Yo momma is so stupid, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
Yo momma is so dumb she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
Yo momma is so stupid, when she went to a football game, she asked the quarterback for a refund.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.