the official scionlife joke thread!!! post 'em here
10-27-2007, 04:42 AM
#1041
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SL Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Redneck Riveria
Posts: 2,409
Things That Are Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
Cinnamon
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Things That Are VERY Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
British Constitution
Loquacious Transubstantiate
Passive-aggressive disorder
Specificity
Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE To Say When You're Drunk
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more alcohol for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
You're right, I can't jump over that table!
Cinnamon
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Things That Are VERY Difficult To Say When You're Drunk
British Constitution
Loquacious Transubstantiate
Passive-aggressive disorder
Specificity
Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE To Say When You're Drunk
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more alcohol for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
You're right, I can't jump over that table!
10-31-2007, 08:35 AM
#1045
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SL Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 818
Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and
John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at
Hillary, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of
the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
Hillary
shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
John added,
'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the
window and make a hundred people very happy.'
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots
back there'. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at
Hillary, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of
the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
Hillary
shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
John added,
'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the
window and make a hundred people very happy.'
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots
back there'. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
10-31-2007, 01:02 PM
#1046
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,396
Miami, FL (AP)
- A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Dade County
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
- A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Dade County
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
10-31-2007, 02:13 PM
#1047
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Royal Post Palace
Posts: 14,092
Originally Posted by 13edge
Presidential candidates, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, and
John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at
Hillary, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of
the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
Hillary
shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
John added,
'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the
window and make a hundred people very happy.'
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots
back there'. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
John Edwards were flying to a convention.
Barack looked at
Hillary, chuckled and said, 'You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of
the window right now and make somebody very happy.'
Hillary
shrugged her shoulders and replied, I could throw ten $100 bills
out of the window and make ten people very happy.'
John added,
'That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the
window and make a hundred people very happy.'
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, 'Such big-shots
back there'. I could throw all of them out of the window and make 156 million people very happy.'
good one!
10-31-2007, 04:42 PM
#1049
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 'Burbs Farmington Hills - go to school in Boulder, CO
Posts: 1,353
Originally Posted by Fsu1dolfan
Miami, FL (AP)
- A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Dade County
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
- A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Dade County
courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Miami Dolphins, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
11-07-2007, 04:59 PM
#1051
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,396
Grabbed this one form another forum but it was to good not to share.....
Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!
Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?
It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!
11-07-2007, 06:12 PM
#1053
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Team ScioNRG
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Derty Jerz 908
Posts: 1,306
Originally Posted by chicotunner07
^^^HAHAHA^^^
too funny, i would love to try that!!
too funny, i would love to try that!!
11-08-2007, 03:14 AM
#1057
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Location: Derty Jerz 908
Posts: 1,306
Originally Posted by mrfuzzy4
what?! on what possible off chance made u think that this was in any way shape or form a good idea?! 
11-08-2007, 08:45 PM
#1059
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SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Laurel, MD
Posts: 5,114
An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and
was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown
things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk
stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laught er), a nd who had watched
the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the ____ out of a ghost."
Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and
was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown
things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk
stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his (laught er), a nd who had watched
the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the ____ out of a ghost."
11-08-2007, 10:15 PM
#1060
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Team ScioNRG
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Derty Jerz 908
Posts: 1,306
Originally Posted by chicotunner07
did you at least hold on for ten second, u guess u got thrown off pretty quickly!! lol
haha it was like 2 seconds then she realized what I said then no joke ( even though this is the joke thread) I literally held onto her and she was like eff you get the eff off you sick mothereffer and then the ***** slap came along and it was all over...so probaly held on a total of 5 seconds. In all seriousness I thought it was funny but I'm not going to do it again.