PONDERABLES
02-09-2006, 12:38 AM
#1
Senior Member
SL Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 13,961
PONDERABLES
PONDERABLES
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for
your
thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
...YES...
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you
naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought
to
taste good."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell
you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are
you
going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he
just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for
your
thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
...YES...
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for
Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you
naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought
to
taste good."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell
you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are
you
going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he
just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first
place?
02-09-2006, 03:16 PM
#2
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: West Des Moines, IA
Posts: 2,757
I am not trying to be a smart @$$, I am just really, really bored.
No, there is pressure against your tear ducts preventing tears from flowing out into the water. You can't cry in space either because the tear ducts require gravity to function.
From my analysis, assassinations are for people in the political spotlight. Everything else is just murder.
Technically, money does grow on the branches....interest.
Carl Budding brand meat is squarish, that is what I use in my lunches every day.
I guess this is in direct opposition to the saying "it pays to keep your mouth shut".
I hope not, I hate wearing suits. That is why I told my parents, bury me in my hockey jersey. It is so comfy.
Have you ever tried folding a round box? Plus, you have to have a spot for the dipping sauces.
Mad Pig disease? If you kill it, the pig won't be mad anymore. Pig cured.
After the man got back from the moon, he wasn't used to the gravity. That is when he came up with the idea to put wheels on his luggage.
Because when babies are asleep, they sleep very soundly.
It depends if they still talk. The judge can still hear that person.
I guess so.
If you are in a movie, you are ON screen.
It is easier to see landmarks from up at a higher vantage point. It decreases the viewing obstructions and gives you a "birds eye view".
Because of the 2 main political parties. Actually, we choose the president from about 6-10 candidates, but we really don't hear too much about the others because the main two spend so much money on their mud-slinging campaigns.
It is a courtesy move. It disconnects the patient from the doctor in a way. I learned about it in psychology.
The person in the next cube.
Bra is singular, underwear is singular.
They can't read, but chances are, they still know what letters are.
It is common knowledge that most female mammals produce milk.
We eat the chicken anyway...why not take its offspring with it
It is difficult to modulate the heat perfectly. It is better to have too many options than too few.
For midnight snacks. Usually, food in the freezer requires some preperation, thawing, etc. The fridge is stuff that is just cold and can be eaten right away.
Most people don't like their driver's license photograph anyway. Not smiling would just make it that much worse.
He wants someone to care....he is lonely.
Yes, do you think a cop would really make you prove someone is in there though if you get pulled over.
Perhaps the hole was too big. Or the professor is good with electronics, but not carpentry.
Usually the squeezing together of the legs and walking funny tips people off that you are in need of a restroom.
Because he is a "goofy" dog. He isn't like the others.
Ballerinas
No, they have sensory dreams. They dream smells, sounds, tastes, and things they can feel.
It feels so much better when you accomplish something yourself. Plus, it is like the old adage: "You can give someone fish and feed them for a day, or you can teach them to fish and feed them forever."
You don't want to know.
Yep, its called politics.
It is actually operated by executives. The mouse is simply the bait.
Yes.
I didn't....it is common knowledge.
Asteroids can also be referred to as meteors or comets depending on its composition.
The sudden burst of air startles it. Plus, the ambient air outside is cooler (and probably smells better) than your breath.
I didn't, this is a forum.
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Or watch a white thing come out a chicken behind and think, "that ought to taste good."
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
02-09-2006, 05:52 PM
#3
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 112
Here how bout this...
Why are revolving doors called REVOLVING doors when they dont revolve??
Technically they ROTATE. Rotation is spinning w/ an internal axle and revolution is spinning w/ an external axle. I just learned that in science today, I feel so smart.
Why are revolving doors called REVOLVING doors when they dont revolve??
Technically they ROTATE. Rotation is spinning w/ an internal axle and revolution is spinning w/ an external axle. I just learned that in science today, I feel so smart.
02-09-2006, 06:51 PM
#4
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SL Member
Scion Evolution
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: PNW
Posts: 7,067
that pepsi and coke thing....
didnt GM or FORD or something just start something where employees driving imports cant park in the company parking lots for free... or right next to the factory?? they have to park across the street and walk or take a shuttle..... somthing like that...
didnt GM or FORD or something just start something where employees driving imports cant park in the company parking lots for free... or right next to the factory?? they have to park across the street and walk or take a shuttle..... somthing like that...
02-09-2006, 07:11 PM
#5
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: West Des Moines, IA
Posts: 2,757
Originally Posted by kkawana
that pepsi and coke thing....
didnt GM or FORD or something just start something where employees driving imports cant park in the company parking lots for free... or right next to the factory?? they have to park across the street and walk or take a shuttle..... somthing like that...
didnt GM or FORD or something just start something where employees driving imports cant park in the company parking lots for free... or right next to the factory?? they have to park across the street and walk or take a shuttle..... somthing like that...
02-09-2006, 07:40 PM
#7
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SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Anaheim, CA; Parker, AZ
Posts: 248
Okay, on the Ford thing, my fiance is a Director of Operations for a Ford Dealership in LA, as management it is an unwritten "requirement" of employment to support your company and its well being and drive a Ford. All management with the exception of 1 person (he drives a Lexus SC) all drive Fords... the guy who drives the SC used to work at another dealership prior and purchased the car prior to this position. Bet his next purchase will be a Ford. We have a monster F250... the only decent thing that Ford produces. My fiance took my tC to a Ford Dealer meeting a few weeks ago, all local dealerships were represented by their management team and my Fiance was grilled about the car, it still did not have any plates on it at the time, he told then that Ford could have given me the car and I still wouldn't have driven it and my opinion was that they needed to revamp their design team and come out with some cars with some style.
So to answer the question the long way... it is just kind of the unwritten word that as an employee of a large company you support your employer, they are afterall the ones who help you pay your bills...
So to answer the question the long way... it is just kind of the unwritten word that as an employee of a large company you support your employer, they are afterall the ones who help you pay your bills...
02-09-2006, 09:14 PM
#8
Senior Member
SL Member
Scion Evolution
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: PNW
Posts: 7,067
^^ i agree to a point on supporting your company you work for.... i work for a phone co... and have all my stuff thru them... tho i know as a fact i can get my cell service cheaper with more phone options from competitors.... even after my "employee discount"....
sometimes its hard choice when competitors offer something better or cheaper or both.... vs who you work for... im tryin to "toe the line" but sometimes... its hard
sometimes its hard choice when competitors offer something better or cheaper or both.... vs who you work for... im tryin to "toe the line" but sometimes... its hard
02-11-2006, 02:45 AM
#11
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SL Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Dallas/Fort Worth
Posts: 7,521
i work for a trading card company and i don't buy our trading cards... i do have some though but those were free.... who would buy a santa clause rookie card?
____
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
My freezer has a light in it!
What do you call male ballerinas?
ballerinos!
Now for mine:
If pro is the opposite of con. what is the opposite of congress?
How many animals did we go through before finding out that licking frogs gets you high?
The word Gorilla means hairy woman.
Sometimes dogs command me to do things....
Ask your doctor if Jack Daniels is right for you.
Like snowflakes, everyones anus is a little bit different.
You'll always remember the day, when you first see a bra take evasive action
Remember, Grandma always wins.
It's all true, except for those lies.
Ask mom, they're omnipotent and infalable.
You can't learn that Starbucks Spanish, it won't get you anywhere.
Barney is the reason why all the other dinosaurs are extinct
Who invented the finger?
If guns kill people, then I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.
Obviously I did inhale.
Do you think Japanese people get random english words tatooed on their bodies?
Sorry, my give a damn is busted
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Save Gas, fart in a jar!
It's Morphing time!
Nipples shouldn't just come off like that.
We are Toyota, we will assimulate you. Resistance is futile.
I knew I was an adult when the judge said, "We're trying you as an adult."
Paris Hilton: Proof that you don't have to be poor to be white trash.
Did you ever notice how Solid Snake kinda looks like Captain Planet?
Let Mikey the Meatball find his own way through the maze!
Looks like Fergie went to the plastic surgion and said, "Give me the Laura Flynn Boyle."
____
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
My freezer has a light in it!
What do you call male ballerinas?
ballerinos!
Now for mine:
If pro is the opposite of con. what is the opposite of congress?
How many animals did we go through before finding out that licking frogs gets you high?
The word Gorilla means hairy woman.
Sometimes dogs command me to do things....
Ask your doctor if Jack Daniels is right for you.
Like snowflakes, everyones anus is a little bit different.
You'll always remember the day, when you first see a bra take evasive action
Remember, Grandma always wins.
It's all true, except for those lies.
Ask mom, they're omnipotent and infalable.
You can't learn that Starbucks Spanish, it won't get you anywhere.
Barney is the reason why all the other dinosaurs are extinct
Who invented the finger?
If guns kill people, then I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.
Obviously I did inhale.
Do you think Japanese people get random english words tatooed on their bodies?
Sorry, my give a damn is busted
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Save Gas, fart in a jar!
It's Morphing time!
Nipples shouldn't just come off like that.
We are Toyota, we will assimulate you. Resistance is futile.
I knew I was an adult when the judge said, "We're trying you as an adult."
Paris Hilton: Proof that you don't have to be poor to be white trash.
Did you ever notice how Solid Snake kinda looks like Captain Planet?
Let Mikey the Meatball find his own way through the maze!
Looks like Fergie went to the plastic surgion and said, "Give me the Laura Flynn Boyle."
02-11-2006, 08:54 PM
#13
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: plainfield, IL
Posts: 119
i work for a mitsubishi dealership and i bought a scion 
. when asked why i didn't buy a mitsubishi i told them that the only thing that was comparable in price was a lancer es and that they were ___. i also added that i would trade in my scion for an evo if they would give me a big enough raise to afford one. i'm still waiting to get fired.
. when asked why i didn't buy a mitsubishi i told them that the only thing that was comparable in price was a lancer es and that they were ___. i also added that i would trade in my scion for an evo if they would give me a big enough raise to afford one. i'm still waiting to get fired.
02-12-2006, 02:42 AM
#14
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: HB, CA
Posts: 2,366
Originally Posted by surfcity40
what is the sound of one hand clapping?
Originally Posted by hornet_on_the_flower
haha bart simpson already done that and i can do it too haha
the real answer to that koan is....
the sound of one hand clapping is the sound of one hand clapping. you didn't hear it from me though.
02-14-2006, 06:21 PM
#17
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 592
Re: PONDERABLES
Originally Posted by hornet_on_the_flower
PONDERABLES
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for
your
thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for
your
thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
I think this can be attributed to supply and demand...
02-16-2006, 10:27 PM
#19
Senior Member
Fail, INC
Club One
SL Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Team Sharpie
Posts: 10,213
Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
Why do DVD player remotes have an eject button? You still have to getup and remove the half ejected DVD.
What's the deal with lamp shades? If it's a lamp. why do you want shade?
Why is the word 'big' little and the word 'little' bigger than big?
Why is there a 'w' in 2? 2 doesn't have a 'wuh' sound. On a related note, why isn't there a 'w' in 1?
Why do DVD player remotes have an eject button? You still have to getup and remove the half ejected DVD.
What's the deal with lamp shades? If it's a lamp. why do you want shade?
Why is the word 'big' little and the word 'little' bigger than big?
Why is there a 'w' in 2? 2 doesn't have a 'wuh' sound. On a related note, why isn't there a 'w' in 1?
