seattledave

So a co-worker of mine, who you only listen to with a grain of salt, tells me she was raped over the weekend. "Good lord, that's the most horrible thing that can happen to someone."

So I didn't inquire about it, but she ended up telling me the scenario, or at least part of it.

(Pretend you're a jury and this is ALL that you hear)
So she went out to a bar, one that she always goes to.
Met a guy there(he bought her a drink), danced a little with him, they seemed to really hit it off. So she invites him home.
When they get to her brightly lit, and relatively busy apartment complex's front door, she uses her key to let them both in.
They go up 4 flights of stairs, and then she let's them both in with her apartment key.
At which point she says "and he raped me".
End of Story.

She doesn't have any bruises or marks from a struggle, and she doesn't submit to a rape kit.

Now, guilty of rape or not?

tml057

Not enough evidence IMO.

But, just because she willingly let him in, doesn't mean it couldn't have happened.

tC4italy

1. rape victims feel like victims. They do NOT go say this to family memebers/doctors/therapists, much less co-workers.

2. If she so freely claims that is what happened to her then she should have no intimidations into submitting herself for a rape kit test.

3. No rape evidence WHATSOEVER.

hiram

not enough info. it goes blurry after they walk into the apartment.


claud get on MSN!!

djct_watt

My friend was victim to a "cry wolf" situation. . . and it was NOT rape. Luckily she came to her senses and dropped the charges (she didn't want her bf to know that she willingly cheated on him).

Now don't get me wrong, I have no idea what happened and I sympathize with ALL victims. But the law is the law, so it's innocent until proven guilty in my book. According to your story, there is not enough evidence. The police would need to conduct tests and gather witness accounts. I'd have faith in a proper trial and a good jury.

tC4italy

I can't now I'm at work

later? tonight?

SW_PinkSylk

I work for a lawyer and even if she did get rape..there's not enough evidence.

bcnu_702

Based upon what you've said, it sounds like someone MAY be after some attention. As tC4italy said, it is very difficult to come out as a victim of rape. For women there is a lot of shame that is built up, even thoughts of "how could I let this happen, this is all my fault". Her openness with the situation with a co-worker and the unwillingness to submit to a rape test kit gives me the inclination she is lying.

tC9o9

inviting someone to your house on the first nite


as far as the rape is concerned, i wouldnt be able to tell from just what you said, you have to see the "victim" and how she says it.

hiram

yeah im off tonight. ill be waitinggg

hiram

a very wise bit of advice but i bet youd love it if a girl invited you home on the first night

tml057

Not enough evidence that he raped her.

My contradictory statement was to cover both sides...

Frosty355

It all depends on the judge.
Some say that you can be half way through the act and if she says stop and you don't it's rape.

Rape is a very personal experience, real victims don't just bring it up in casual conversation.

Ted: Hi Betty, how was your weekend?
Betty: I missed a sale over at Macy's, was raped, and broke a finger nail.
Ted: Bummer.

If you think she was really Raped, maybe she has been traumatized and need you to report it to the cops for her.

tC9o9

heeeeyyyyyyyyyy

djct_watt

I already edited my post. . . I reread what you said and got the gist of what you were saying. Sorry 'bout that.

seattledave

spoken with true honesty.

If a guy finds himself in a bar, and he's not just hanging out with co-workers or friends, and he is there to buy a girl a drink and/or dance with her. If she does invite him home, i know no guy who's gonna say no. Especially when you're in your late 20s and far removed from a virgin.

SW_PinkSylk

I had a guy once tell me--not to me..but he was just saying in general:

if a girl says "stop" it means she's just playing around.

if a girl says "NO!"--it means NO!

it was funny.

anyways, I had an ex best friend that was unreportedly raped 6 times.

she was a slutbag anyways..turned out she slept with my boyfriend at the time and claimed he raped her too.

in the end, she was lying about all 7 incidents.

its extremely hard to prove rape with out hard evidence.

Frosty355

wow. I'm a slow typer. when I started I was going to be the 3 post on this thread.

seattledave

and I would have, had I thought she was actually raped.
but upon hearing her story, i'm wanting to say:

"Wait, you met him at a bar and invited him home?" (who here doesn't directly translate that into "come have sex with me")

"So, he RAPED you, but you let him in with your key, not once, but twice? and yuo saw other people there, and could have at any time said "Help" but didn't?"

I know if I go to a bar and then invite a girl home after midnight, it's not for coffee, video games or anything else, who doesn't know that?

Frosty355

However it will prove to her the seriousness of that accusation. Why don't you tell her that you are and see what she says?