HeathenBrewing

My wife has been great. In just three years of marriage, she's gotten me to stop drinking and stop smoking, taught me how to dress well, how to enjoy music and painting and fine literature, how to cook gourmet meals, and how to have confidence in myself.

So I'm getting a divorce.
Frankly, she just isn't good enough for me.

pchavez

Or you could constantly remind her of your superiority and how lucky she is so that she would be more willing to do it in #2.

scionkidd

no poop u r divorcing her... she seems like she's constantly trying to change u...

well GL

dannygenio

it must be a tough time.... GL with everything

2_much_tc

ok?

jct

haha sweet

HeathenBrewing

Hmmmm...humor is hit or miss over the 'net, although a few got it. That was suppose to be a joke, albeit not one of my better ones. I will try harder:

Ordering a Pizza in 2012: http://aclu.org/pizza/images/screen.swf
(or is it funny... )

FYI - Marriage is for suckers. Anytime you here me mention I am/plan on/want to get married, know right away that everything after is a joke. Dont bother telling me how wonderful your marriage is and blah,blah,blah.....my opinion is based on my experiences.

shortbusxb

FYI - I don't appreciate you calling me a 'sucker'. Where as I do believe marriage IS NOT meant for everyone, I don't believe it is for 'suckers'.

burstaneurysm

Woo, tough crowd!

HeathenBrewing

Ill say!

PRODIGY3000

Marriage isn't for suckers? A well-known national 50% divorce rate proves thats its quite a sucker sport.

shortbusxb

That doesn't prove anything. All it proves, is that it isn't for everyone. Obviously, the ppl who think it's for suckers are going to be the very same ppl who couldn't make it work.

captainlaziness

Ha! Butsecks.

HeathenBrewing

Did you type that on purpose, or is that the filter? Either way, Im rollin'!

captainlaziness

How else would you spell it?

HeathenBrewing

Oldie but goodie:

Little Johnny was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Johnny down & enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, little Johnny comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Johnny is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before.

This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Johnny brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Johnny got an A in math.

She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Johnny looks at her and shakes his head.

"Well, then," she replies, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?"

Little Johnny looks at her and says, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around.

HeathenBrewing

Butt sex.

HeathenBrewing

OK....guess it wasnt the filter.

HeathenBrewing

No, losing 50% of your money in a divorce proves its a sucker sport.

captainlaziness

Lolzer. Ain't that the truth.