you know your a redneck if your front yard has several dead possomes hanging on the porch [/b]

 

You know your a redneck if you use your old nonworking tv as a stand for your working tv

 

You MIGHT be a Redneck If:

-You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi

-You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs

-You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws

-You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company

-Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister

-Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.

-You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'

Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks

-You carried a fishing pole into Sea World

-You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"

 

Keep it coming guys

 

You might be a redneck if you... ummm... create this thread Just messin with ya..

I think I have heard all of these.. twice.

 

You might be a redneck if ...

Your family tree doesn't fork.

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit"
was snubbed for best picture.

You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

 

You MIGHT be a Redneck IF:

-You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop

-The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.

-You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart

-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

-Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

-You think safe sex is a padded headboard

-You think subdivision is part of a math problem

-You and your dog use the same tree

 

i had to start this cuz blue coller tv was on last night

 

If the directions to your house includes "Turn off the paved road..."

When I was a kid, we lived so far out in the sticks that the sun set between us and town...

 

lol @ using the same tree.

 

Its all good.. just messin with ya!

 

You might be a redneck if you have more kids than teeth.

 

-You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

-You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

-Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.

-You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law

-You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.

-You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test

-You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.

-You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.

-Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen

-The people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors

-You've ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."

-when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

-You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph

-You have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

 

im just gonna finish it off for the day:

-You take a six-pack cooler to church

-Your family tree has no forks

-You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture

-You use a weedeater in your living room

-You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison

-You have a rag for a gas cap

-The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.

-The third grade teacher says little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.

-Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

-You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge

-A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack

-One of your kids was born on a pool table

-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand

-Someone asks to see your ID and you
show them your belt buckle.

-Your dad walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade

-Down where you come from reruns of
Hee Haw are called documentaries

-Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.

-You need one more hole punched in your card
to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos

-You have flowers planted in a
bathroom fixture in your front yard

-On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

-You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance
were just "misunderstood".

-If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".

-The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

-Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

-Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds

-You've ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister's honor

-You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray

-You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado

 

theese arent words but phrases

"jaeetyet" im hungry, lets get some grub, jaeetyet?
"asanine" i give her face a 7, and her asanine

theres more i forget

 

"wisd'em" my brother had 2 kidney stones, but he wisd'em both out

 

*You're 29, you should know better by now...

 

nobodys got any, c'mon

todays group

You might be a redneck if:

-You dated your daddy's current wife in high school

-you ever
used a toilet brush as a back scratcher

-You can change the oil in your truck
without ducking your head

-During your senior year you and
your mother had homeroom together

-You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light

-You think the stock market
has fence around it

-Your stereo speakers used to belong
to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater

-You own a homemade fur coat

-Your entire family has ever sat around
waiting for a call from the Governor
to spare a loved one

-Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."

-You think loading the dishwasher
means getting your wife drunk

-YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON
A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
"THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."

-You use a NASCAR credit card

-Your brother-in-law is your uncle
AND your grandfather

-Your parents met at a family reunion

-You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies
are two of the major food groups

-YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER

-You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean

-You couldn't learn to swim
because
your gene pool is too small

-Your wife's job requires her
to wear an orange vest

-You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial

-On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat

-Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos".

-Your coffee table used to be a cable spool

-You got Clapper devices controlling
the appliances in your house

-You think a hot tub is
a stolen bathroom fixture

-The gas pedal on your car
is shaped like a bare foot

-They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools

-You hammer bottle caps into the
frame of your front door to make it look ni

-The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice

-The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape

-You've ever been involved in a
custody fight over a hunting dog

-You think the French
Riviera is a foreign car

-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it

-You go to your family reunion
looking for a date

-You've got more than three cousins
named 'Bubba'

-You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park

-Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted

-When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God

-You have more belt-buckles than pants

-Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"

 

you know if your a redneck if you find out that the girl you dating is your 1st couison and you still marry her

 

You might be a redneck if:

-You think a woman who is
"out of your league"
bowls on a different night