YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF?
06-15-2006, 05:03 PM
#3
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Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
You MIGHT be a Redneck If:
-You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi
-You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs
-You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws
-You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
-Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
-Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.
-You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
-You carried a fishing pole into Sea World
-You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"
-You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi
-You think a stock tip is
advice on worming' your hogs
-You've been married three times
and still have the same in-laws
-You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company
-Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister
-Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.
-You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, 'Bout What?'
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
-You carried a fishing pole into Sea World
-You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"
Just messin with ya..
06-15-2006, 06:04 PM
#6
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: St Cloud, FL
Posts: 679
You might be a redneck if ...
Your family tree doesn't fork.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit"
was snubbed for best picture.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
Your family tree doesn't fork.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit"
was snubbed for best picture.
You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.
You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.
You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.
You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet `Ms. Right'
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
06-15-2006, 06:13 PM
#7
Senior Member
SL Member
sIcKsCiOnS
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DelMarVa
Scion Evolution
Scion Tuners
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
You MIGHT be a Redneck IF:
-You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop
-The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
-You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart
-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
-Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
-You think safe sex is a padded headboard
-You think subdivision is part of a math problem
-You and your dog use the same tree
-You hooked up with your present girlfriend
as a result of a message on the wall of
the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop
-The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.
-You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart
-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
-Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
-You think safe sex is a padded headboard
-You think subdivision is part of a math problem
-You and your dog use the same tree
06-15-2006, 06:49 PM
#13
Senior Member
SL Member
sIcKsCiOnS
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
-You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
-You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
-Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.
-You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law
-You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.
-You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test
-You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
-You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.
-Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen
-The people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors
-You've ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."
-when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
-You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph
-You have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
-You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
-Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.
-You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law
-You've got more than
one brother named 'Darryl'.
-You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test
-You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.
-You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.
-Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
But she can't touch it until she's fourteen
-The people on Jerry Springer's show
remind you of your neighbors
-You've ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."
-when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
-You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph
-You have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
06-15-2006, 07:38 PM
#14
Senior Member
SL Member
sIcKsCiOnS
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DelMarVa
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
im just gonna finish it off for the day:
-You take a six-pack cooler to church
-Your family tree has no forks
-You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture
-You use a weedeater in your living room
-You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison
-You have a rag for a gas cap
-The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.
-The third grade teacher says little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.
-Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
-You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge
-A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack
-One of your kids was born on a pool table
-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
-Someone asks to see your ID and you
show them your belt buckle.
-Your dad walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade
-Down where you come from reruns of
Hee Haw are called documentaries
-Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.
-You need one more hole punched in your card
to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos
-You have flowers planted in a
bathroom fixture in your front yard
-On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
-You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance
were just "misunderstood".
-If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".
-The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
-Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
-Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds
-You've ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister's honor
-You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray
-You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado
-You take a six-pack cooler to church
-Your family tree has no forks
-You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture
-You use a weedeater in your living room
-You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison
-You have a rag for a gas cap
-The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.
-The third grade teacher says little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius
because he's got thirteen fingers.
-Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
-You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge
-A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack
-One of your kids was born on a pool table
-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
-Someone asks to see your ID and you
show them your belt buckle.
-Your dad walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade
-Down where you come from reruns of
Hee Haw are called documentaries
-Your house doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does.
-You need one more hole punched in your card
to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos
-You have flowers planted in a
bathroom fixture in your front yard
-On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
-You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance
were just "misunderstood".
-If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".
-The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
-Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
-Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds
-You've ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister's honor
-You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray
-You've been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado
06-15-2006, 09:10 PM
#16
Senior Member
SL Member
sIcKsCiOnS
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Scion Evolution
Scion Tuners
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
Originally Posted by Brent_23M
theese arent words but phrases
"jaeetyet" im hungry, lets get some grub, jaeetyet?
"asanine" i give her face a 7, and her asanine
theres more i forget
"jaeetyet" im hungry, lets get some grub, jaeetyet?
"asanine" i give her face a 7, and her asanine
theres more i forget
06-16-2006, 02:32 AM
#17
Senior Member
SL Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 1,766
Re: YOU KNOW YOUR A REDNECK IF?
Originally Posted by CHPRBOX8
you know your a redneck if your front yard has several dead possomes hanging on the porch [/b]
06-16-2006, 06:01 PM
#18
Senior Member
SL Member
sIcKsCiOnS
Team ScioNRG
DelMarVa
Scion Evolution
Scion Tuners
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: SuperiorWash (MD)
Posts: 4,888
nobodys got any, c'mon
todays group
You might be a redneck if:
-You dated your daddy's current wife in high school
-you ever
used a toilet brush as a back scratcher
-You can change the oil in your truck
without ducking your head
-During your senior year you and
your mother had homeroom together
-You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light
-You think the stock market
has fence around it
-Your stereo speakers used to belong
to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater
-You own a homemade fur coat
-Your entire family has ever sat around
waiting for a call from the Governor
to spare a loved one
-Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."
-You think loading the dishwasher
means getting your wife drunk
-YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON
A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
"THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."
-You use a NASCAR credit card
-Your brother-in-law is your uncle
AND your grandfather
-Your parents met at a family reunion
-You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies
are two of the major food groups
-YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER
-You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean
-You couldn't learn to swim
because
your gene pool is too small
-Your wife's job requires her
to wear an orange vest
-You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial
-On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat
-Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos".
-Your coffee table used to be a cable spool
-You got Clapper devices controlling
the appliances in your house
-You think a hot tub is
a stolen bathroom fixture
-The gas pedal on your car
is shaped like a bare foot
-They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools
-You hammer bottle caps into the
frame of your front door to make it look ni
-The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice
-The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape
-You've ever been involved in a
custody fight over a hunting dog
-You think the French
Riviera is a foreign car
-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it
-You go to your family reunion
looking for a date
-You've got more than three cousins
named 'Bubba'
-You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park
-Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted
-When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God
-You have more belt-buckles than pants
-Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"
todays group
You might be a redneck if:
-You dated your daddy's current wife in high school
-you ever
used a toilet brush as a back scratcher
-You can change the oil in your truck
without ducking your head
-During your senior year you and
your mother had homeroom together
-You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light
-You think the stock market
has fence around it
-Your stereo speakers used to belong
to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater
-You own a homemade fur coat
-Your entire family has ever sat around
waiting for a call from the Governor
to spare a loved one
-Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."
-You think loading the dishwasher
means getting your wife drunk
-YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON
A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
"THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."
-You use a NASCAR credit card
-Your brother-in-law is your uncle
AND your grandfather
-Your parents met at a family reunion
-You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies
are two of the major food groups
-YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER
-You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean
-You couldn't learn to swim
because
your gene pool is too small
-Your wife's job requires her
to wear an orange vest
-You have the local taxidermist's
number on speed dial
-On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat
-Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos".
-Your coffee table used to be a cable spool
-You got Clapper devices controlling
the appliances in your house
-You think a hot tub is
a stolen bathroom fixture
-The gas pedal on your car
is shaped like a bare foot
-They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools
-You hammer bottle caps into the
frame of your front door to make it look ni
-The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice
-The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape
-You've ever been involved in a
custody fight over a hunting dog
-You think the French
Riviera is a foreign car
-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it
-You go to your family reunion
looking for a date
-You've got more than three cousins
named 'Bubba'
-You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park
-Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more 'cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted
-When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God
-You have more belt-buckles than pants
-Your child's first words were
"Attention K-Mart shoppers!"