Orlando Thursday night cruising?? ;) Some Pics Available...
09-19-2006 | 05:42 PM
#2067
Senior Member
Fail, INC
SL Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 9,975
From: Nice little room with padded walls
immigration works for chuck norris....
hey, and lets go ride go karts this week, that was fun....
bet still stands... $5 to the tc or xb driver that takes out the driver of the red xa
hey, and lets go ride go karts this week, that was fun....
bet still stands... $5 to the tc or xb driver that takes out the driver of the red xa
09-19-2006 | 09:26 PM
#2070
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 249
From: Orlando (UCF), Florida
Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have sex with over 20,000 women during his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls that "a slow Tuesday".
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first, last and only thing this man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The movie Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants.
Outer Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ____ with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
MR T
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't!
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Who let the dogs out? Mr. T did, that's who. What the hell are you going to do about it?
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr. T is a deadly weapon in 17 states.
Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.
There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a **** star regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
During the filming of Rocky III, Burgess Meredith asked Mr. T why he wore so much gold. To make a long story short, the script had to be changed to include Mickey's "accidental" death.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
Achilles was supposedly the greatest warrior of all time, but he died because of his weak spot, the Achilles tendon. There is no Chuck Norris tendon.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Wilt Chamberlain once claimed to have sex with over 20,000 women during his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls that "a slow Tuesday".
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first, last and only thing this man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse kick delivered by Chuck Norris.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The movie Anaconda was filmed in Chuck Norris' pants.
Outer Space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't ____ with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is Courage?" Chuck Norris received an "A+" for writing only the words "Chuck Norris" and promptly turning in the paper.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
A recent poll discovered 93% of women think about Chuck Norris during sex. A similar poll discovered Chuck Norris thinks about Chuck Norris 100% of the time during sex.
MR T
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
Why does Mr. T wear still have his mohawk? Cause his reflection pities the fool who don't!
Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.
Who let the dogs out? Mr. T did, that's who. What the hell are you going to do about it?
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. A bird in the hand of Mr. T is a deadly weapon in 17 states.
Mr. T's incredible greatness has been attributed to the fact that his genetic code doesn't have any A, G, or C. His genetic code is in fact, nothing but T's.
Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That's why he can only kick through doors.
Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those coordinates.
There are now over 43 fools born every minute in order to keep up with the rate at which Mr. T pities them.
Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a **** star regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.
Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.
Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.
Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.
During the filming of Rocky III, Burgess Meredith asked Mr. T why he wore so much gold. To make a long story short, the script had to be changed to include Mickey's "accidental" death.
If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.
Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
09-20-2006 | 01:31 AM
#2074
Senior Member
Scikotics
SL Member
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 174
From: Orlando
Unfortunatley, I have to go back to West Palm this Friday......again. I have 2 doctors appointments, but thats neither here nor there. Maybe I'll come for a little bit Thursday night, but it'll brief.
